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Orochimaru Member

Joined: 23 Jan 2007 Posts: 20 Karma: +1 (1)
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 7:31 pm Post subject: |
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I'm posting this to advise that i,m working on a story that i still haven't named
this is the summary of what i'll be posting in this story:the main character is a guy called Shadowyn, and his friends, right now only two and for what i'm planning one is going to die others will appear etc. if the idea is appealing post and i'll keep posting my advances  |
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Orochimaru Member

Joined: 23 Jan 2007 Posts: 20 Karma: +1 (1)
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 7:46 pm Post subject: |
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This is the first part of my story:
Chapter 1
Clashing steel and agonizing shouts could be heard in the forest. Three men were fighting against a group of farmers that claimed to have robbed eggs. The tallest, most muscular of them was Valmar, a man from the northern mountains of Kantia. He had light blue eyes and snow white skin just like the sky and peaks of his homeland. His long black hair bounced around him while he aimed his repeating crossbow, his deadly bolts taking away life like a god’s desire. The one closest to him was Shadowyn, a young warrior that loved the suspense of fighting. He was a good strategist preferring fast thinking and fast acting to strength. He once used a sickle and dagger combo but even though the weapons were exactly what he wanted, he noticed he had a disadvantage against both stronger enemies and long range weapons. So he decided to create a new sickle, one that came back like a boomerang without losing the versatility of a sickle. His body description was that of a mysterious guy; he used cool yet extravagant clothing, his black hair contrasted with his yellow eyes. His skin was a subtle tan. The last one is also the oldest, e was once a monk who now dedicates to seeing the world before he dies, he was rather strong for his age and had in his possession a staff made out of sacred wood that was infused with magic upon creation. This permitted Amix, his name, to light up the staff’s points at will to burn his foes. Even do the staff’s power of burning is incredible, little are the times when he actually uses that capability using the staff like a normal weapon (not without some complaints from Shadowyn). The view of this three fighting alongside was incredible, except for the victims…
-Ahhhh! - Valmar shouted while firing his crossbow at the last ones standing.
-Yahoo!! – Shadowyn screamed jumping in Valmar’s shoulders. He threw his sickle slashing one of them in the throat grabbed the sickle and jumped to the ground.
-I hate when you do that – Valmar protested
-Well here’s my thanks for being my column – replied the other one handing him the bolts he had retrieved form the corpses while on his slashing fury.
-Thanks –Valmar said taking the bolts from Shadowyn’s hands
A cry was heard and they looked in the direction. Amix stood there seeing a man burning between screams.
-And you say we are cruel – Valmar said
-Yeah we are the cold blooded assassins – Shadowyn continued
-I am doing this man a favor – he replied
-You are doing him the favor of making his death more painful?-Valmar replied back
-When you are dying from bleeding you have time to think on what will happen to
you in your afterlife, bringing negative thoughts to your mind, pain blinds the mind suppressing any thought, good or bad, and ends up in a sort peaceful state of mind- Amix said with a grim look in his eyes while he looked up. He looked at them. They were sleeping back to back snoring loudly.
-You two are like a homosexual couple –he said rising his staff. They woke up and at the gaze stared running, laughing happily since they triumphed.
Later that day they were building a campfire. Valmar was in charge of bringing the wood, Shadowyn had to cook, and Amix to lit up the fire. They ate healthily the fish and mushrooms Shadowyn cooked. Later in the night Valmar and Shadowyn talked about there adventures.
-Remember how we met? – Shadowyn asked
-Yes –Valmar said remembering:
“It was a nice day. I was walking through a forest. I remember my giant crossbow, which shot harpoons instead of bolts, broke and fired itself. I heard an animal shout and I rushed there thinking I had my meal secured. When I got there I saw you peeling a wildebeest you said that it had attacked you and my harpoon killed him.
-Give me the beast – I demanded
-Of course- you said
I remember that I called you to ask you if you if you would like to share. You said yes. You also told me you’ll make me anew crossbow far greater than the one that broke.
I didn’t believe you… the next day I woke up to see you handing over a crossbow with a weird shape.”
-It was the repeating crossbow I treasure so much since that’s what made us so close as friends- he said nostalgically
-Even after so many years we have managed to take over so many battles thanks too your aim and my speed.- Shadowyn reflected
-Yeah, just when we think we’re going to lose we remember that we have a new member to our team-Valmar continued-He’s annoying but he is of great help-
-Indeed, well, goodnight-Shadowyn said closing his eyes
-‘night to you too Shad-
A sound of steps woke up Shadowyn. He found himself tied against a tree alongside Valmar and the old man to another.
-Valmar wake up!!!!!!!!- Shadowyn said
-What…aaaaaaem-he yawned loudly-Wait, what are this ropes!!!-
A loud laugh was heard and both of them looked at the source, in front of them stood two women dressed in a warrior princess fashion. The two of them were hot; both were blondes, one had curly hair with violet eyes and the other one had straight hair and blue eyes that were fixed on Shadowyn .
-Vanessa!-Shadowyn said a in for crying out loud fashion
-Kaila!-said Valmar in the same way
They were saying the names of them, the one looking at Shadowyn was Vanessa and the one laughing was Kaila.
-So you remember- Vanessa said pissed off
-Of course he does-Kaila said-how can a man forget what they liked so much, right Valmar?-she finished with an evil grin while she got nearer and nearer Valmar
-You like this don’t you?-she said while touching him sexily
-I want too!!!!-said Amix
-Kaila I’ll try it on Shadowyn-Vanessa said-it’ll be a great way to take revenge –
-This is but the first part of the torture-Kaila said standing in front of Valmar
Vanessa did the same with Shadowyn.
-Why don’t you finish- said Valmar desperate for the lust
-Cause then it won’t be torture-Vanessa replied
-I want torture too!!!!!!!-said Amix
-Your torture is not having torture- Kaila said
They stopped and started building a campfire
hope youre liking it so far _________________ Fast thinking and acting can outclass strength |
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Psico45 The Psychotic Moderator

Joined: 04 Jan 2007 Posts: 812 Karma: +215 (215)
Location: Bikini Bottom ( Atlantic Ocean)
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Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 1:47 am Post subject: |
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Aw man it's almost as long as one of the fan made stories....you know the ones  _________________ Walk into the Darkness and the light will fade away.
...Creativity.... it's just one color away... |
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Orochimaru Member

Joined: 23 Jan 2007 Posts: 20 Karma: +1 (1)
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Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2007 9:31 pm Post subject: |
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They had already hunted for birds earlier that day, so they just started cooking them in a rotating stick. When they finished the smells were so strong that the guys, who hadn’t eaten in the day, close to insanity.
-Tell you what- muttered Valmar on a low voice-We’ll free ourselves from these ropes and eat both the birds and the girls-
-How are we supposed to free ourselves, smart guy- Shadowyn replied in the same tone
-With force-Valmar said
He started pulling the the ropes trying to get free, the girls didn’t even noticed. Shdowyn on the other side started doing it his way, he started to wriggle and tug the rope calmly. Suddenly some men came from nowhere swearing and insulting. They saw the girls, which were currently on foot and on guard.
-You bitches are going to pay-said the first one
-Yeah, you witches, you are going to learn to pay your respects to men-said another one
The groups of men took out daggers and menace the girls. The two amazons were quick too and got out their weapons. Kaila had a sword and Vanessa had a whip. Kaila attacked the first guy stabbing him in the chest. Another tried to attack her but Vanessa defended Kaila by hitting him in the hand, making him drop the weapon. Kaila took the opportunity to separate his head from his body. But even do they had the upper hand and superior battle skills, one of them surprised Vanessa making her trip. Kaila look in the way of the shout and one of the bandits slashed her shoulder.
Thtas it for now i have completed some more but it isuseless if people dont read it _________________ Fast thinking and acting can outclass strength |
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Orochimaru Member

Joined: 23 Jan 2007 Posts: 20 Karma: +1 (1)
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Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 6:01 pm Post subject: |
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psico i have afavor to ask i left some of my story on the middle comp on the library can you post it using your magic at my name???  _________________ Fast thinking and acting can outclass strength |
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Psico45 The Psychotic Moderator

Joined: 04 Jan 2007 Posts: 812 Karma: +215 (215)
Location: Bikini Bottom ( Atlantic Ocean)
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Posted: Sat Apr 14, 2007 12:06 am Post subject: |
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Sure thing buddy. Once we get to the school on tuesday I'll remember to look for it ok? ok... _________________ Walk into the Darkness and the light will fade away.
...Creativity.... it's just one color away... |
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Rocker Site Administrator

Joined: 03 Jan 2007 Posts: 231 Karma: 0 (6)
Location: Puerto Rico
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Posted: Sun May 06, 2007 1:41 am Post subject: |
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wauu, the story is really cool, i cant wait for the next post. Only one thing i recomend and that is to leave space between conversations and paragraphs.
-name- conversation
-name- conversation
Paragraph
Something like that, of course is your story and you do what you think its best for it. Keep it up  _________________ The closer you are to the light the bigger your shadow is. |
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